Diary: Can You Trust Me?

Blank ringbound notebook and pencil

I’ve started school. It’s my fourth year in college — perhaps my last — and I’ve moved into an apartment with five roommates, most of whom I know (more or less) well enough.

More on that later, though. It’s not what I want to talk about, and not what’s weighing on my mind these days.

A bit of background: I have two friends, who are both friends to each other. The problem is, though, they get into some pretty Cold War-like tensions pretty often. When that happens, sometimes they share their problems with me.

Which is fine by me, don’t get me wrong. I like playing the role of counselor; it invites me into some juicy discussion, but more importantly, the satisfaction I feel when someone tells me, “I feel so much better after talking to you” is a genuinely good feeling.

Earlier this summer, one of these friends were talking to me about a problem he was having with our mutual friend. Now, he didn’t strictly forbid me to secrecy, but it was assumed that this would stay between the two of us.

Here’s where the problems start, and where my conscience begins to gnaw away at me. If, by telling the other person his friend’s thoughts, the whole situation could be cleared up, but only by violating his wishes in the first place, would that constitute a win-win, or a lose-lose? And where would I come out in all of this? I don’t want to be known as the double-crosser, but at the same time, the prospect of holding onto a morsel of truth that could clear up everything — if only it was revealed — doesn’t sound very appealing, either.

Yes, I would be violating his trust in confiding what he’s told me to the other friend. But if, by doing so, the problems between the two of them could be cleared away, is that indeed such a bad thing?

I just don’t know, sometimes. I wish I did; I wish there was a clear solution that would put everyone on top. But life isn’t that simple, sometimes.

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